When diagnosed with breast cancer, you know it’s for real, but it doesn’t feel like it. You hear the words. You hear recommendations from doctor after doctor. You constantly find yourself online reading other people’s stories all the while wondering how much of their information pertains to you.
And while it doesn’t feel real, you are supposed to be making huge decisions, really important decisions.
I was diagnosed with Invasive Ductal Carcinoma in situ (DCIS) after my first mammogram showed warning signs that were confirmed with a biopsy. I had just celebrated my 40th with girlfriends in Vegas and was on top of the world when all of a sudden time jolted to a halt. Before I could catch my breath, I was in a whirlwind, meeting with breast and plastic surgeons, genetic testing professionals and oncologists. Everyone of them was great, but until you’ve made your rounds and actually gotten to speak to all of them it always seems like a piece of the puzzle is missing. The notebook paper by my nightstand was constantly needing to be replaced as it overflowed with my questions, to-do lists, and notes. Here are the items I found to be the most helpful to have around during my mastectomy recovery.
Pillows
While some women feel more comfortable sleeping on a recliner, I knew my day would be spent there. (My mom and I may or may not have watched the entire series of Downton Abby while I sat in said recliner.) So, for night time, I used a wedge pillow/travel pillow/mastectomy pillow combo. The wedge pillow kept me reclined and the travel pillow gave me much needed neck support. The mastectomy pillow is honestly the best thing in the world as it’s the only way to keep your arms in a comfortable position while laying down. I ordered mine on etsy and it even had a little front pocket that kept my phone within reach.
I was always a stomach sleeper, so getting comfortable and falling asleep was not an easy task. It really helped if I put a pillow under my knees and let them flop to one side or the other.
During the day, two heart-shaped pillows kept my arms comfortable as I sat watching the lives of the Crawley family and their servants unfold. These pillows tie over your shoulder. This placement allows your arms to rest comfortably at your sides without getting to close to your sore area.
Mastectomy Shirts
I was reluctant to buy these. I am cheap and they seemed expensive. I hated the thought of shelling out 60 big ones for something so incredibly unattractive and that I would only wear for a few weeks. I bought 2 t-shirts and 1 sweatshirt and I am pleased to report that they were worth it!!!! First, they were soft and comfy. You will want to make sure you buy them big enough because you won’t want anything on that’s too tight. Second, they have SNAPS!! You won’t be able to lift your arms for a while to pull anything over your head. And lastly, they have inside pockets to hold those dreadful drains. No-one wants those hanging free.
Waterproof Drain Holding Purse or Lanyard with Big Safety Pins
After your surgery and days of laying around, showers are simply marvelous. But they aren’t simple! You will need something to hold your drains because your birthday suit doesn’t have pockets… I found a plastic-y drain holder with holes in it to wear around my neck, but a lanyard with big safety pins could work just as well.
It’s also important to mention that for a few days the range of motion in your arms is next to none, so you won’t be able to get to those hard to reach places. (or many of those easy to reach places) I found it extremely humiliating to need so much help in the shower, but I was just happy to be clean.
Baby Wipes and Face Wipes
Because showers are such a big production, grab some wipes to keep you clean in between times!
Lotion and Chapstick
Surgery dries you out. Cue the lotion! However, the sense of smell is extremely linked to memory. (more so than the other 4 senses) DO NOT use your favorite fragrance during this time unless you are ready to say goodbye to it! (This includes your favorite candles as well.) We used a lavender scented lotion to drain the fluid from my drains several times a day. After the drains were out the smell of that lotion was intolerable.
Dry Shampoo
You will not be able to reach your head to wash or even brush your hair. Have someone use dry shampoo on your hair if needed. I went once a week to get a wash and blow out at a salon. Afterwards, I felt like a new women!
Big Cup with Straw
You will want to drink tons of water and stay hydrated so you can heal. And on the plus side, you’ll get plenty of exercise going to the bathroom every 20 minutes. (The pause button on my remote is forever faded from so many bathroom breaks during my Downton Abby Marathon!) I used a big turvis and the straw made it easy since my arms stayed in the “T-rex position.”
Stool Softners and Laxitives
I know ladies never discuss these things, but hey, here I go anyway… I read everywhere that I needed to buy these blasted things, so I did. The surgery, change of routine, lack of exercise and painkillers can “back up your plumbing”. I think they deserve a spot on this list because they are needed, but before you make your big purchase, talk to your doctor. I had some of each prescribed to me so now I have a mini arsenal of poop-aids that I didn’t even need to buy.
Tylenol PM
Like I mentioned before, it is hard to sleep after a mastectomy because it’s hard to get comfortable. My doctors recommended Tylenol PM to help me sleep. I suffer from restless leg syndrome so I am unable to take it. Like Benadryl, Tylenol PM has an ingredient that sparks restless legs. But if you can take it and it would help you get a good night’s sleep— Go for it!
Help
If you are anything like me, this will be the hardest for you. I despise asking for help. I hate to break it to you, but after your surgery YOU WILL NEED it! It’s not just that you shouldn’t do much, it’s that you physically CANNOT. You can’t lift your arms to brush your hair or reach up into a cupboard. No laundry. No housework. No cooking. I can’t stress this enough- you don’t even realize all the things you CAN’T do until you can’t do them.
The sense of helplessness was the worst part of the surgery/recovery for me. Another friend, who is also a member of “the can’t sit still” club, warned me ahead of time. Since I knew all this going in and I was able to mentally prepare ahead of time for a good two weeks of recliner time. I’d say I made the best of it. I laughed, I cried, and marveled in every sarcastic comment made by the Dowager Countess of Grantham.
Plan some fun family time with your favorite movies or television series. Read that book you bought last year that you haven’t gotten around to opening. Let friends run errands for you or come over to vacuum. Your friends and family want to help. So let them! During recovery, I would have really liked to have had Anna as my Lady’s Maid and Carson as my Butler, but I will say that my Mom and the Hubby did a splendid job in their absence.